So... I went on a little hiatus recently. I wanted to take a break from blogging and Facebook after witnessing so much social media negativity. After reading some pretty mean-spirited comments within a Mommy Swap group, I decided it was time to delete the Facebook app from my phone. Then I stumbled upon a post from a blogger about how her house was usually a mess from her two little ones. She stated that she couldn't be friends with someone who expected her house to be clean when they came to visit. By saying, "We can't be friends" she is obviously putting playful spin on her topic. I loved the message she was sending, and after reading the comments, so did many other moms. But lo and behold, Negative Nancy thought it was important to comment about how this mom "must be lazy" if her house wasn't clean. And so began the domino effect of negativity. Don't ask me why I was so concerned by these comments that obviously had no effect on me. I guess it just made me sad. Anyone who has followed my posts in the short time I have been blogging knows that I am a huge believer in supporting one another, especially fellow moms. It's not an easy job, and it makes it much harder when we have Judgmental Judy putting her two cents in about everything. But it took a stressful trip to Target to realize that I started blogging for a reason. And if it meant even ONE mom would be comforted by my words, I was going to continue. I know you are curious, so here's the Target story...
We needed to make a Target run for a few things (which always turns in to much more than a few things), so we decided to go as a family after church on Sunday. This is a rare treat to have Daddy with us because usually it's just me and the boys. But what was meant to be a fun family outing quickly turned into a mound of stress. It started a soon as we walked in the door. While I was trying to return our brand new DVD player that all of a sudden quit working, Eric was letting the boys pick out a treat from the One Spot. Luke chose Goldfish crackers and decided to try to open them himself. And as soon as I approached the cart, I was greeted with a shower of orange fish-shaped crackers, thus, leaving a huge mess all across the floor. My hubby and I exchanged a wide-eyed glance and started picking them up as quickly as possible. Next up was some bickering back and forth between the boys, followed by some very loud crying. And we hadn't even made it to our first destination. By the time we were finally about to get to the register, let's just say we were all a little on edge.
I just wanted to get finished and get to the car as quickly as possible. So, when Cooper asked me to get a (rather expensive) coloring book I replied, "Don't ask me for another thing. You are getting nothing." Just as the words left my mouth, a woman walked by and gave a rather loud huff as she looked back at me. And there I was, a stressed out mom who had just been judged, by a woman who was a complete stranger and only witnessed 2 seconds worth of parenting by yours truly.
What she doesn't know, is that it was literally the 30th time Cooper had asked me if he could get something. What she doesn't know, is that he had gotten used to getting spoiled with toys and treats after his recent potty training success. What she doesn't know, is that as soon as we got home, I sat Cooper down and explained to him about not getting a new toy every time we go to Target. What she doesn't know, is in that same conversation, I apologized to him for the words I used, telling him I could have chosen nicer ones. What she doesn't know, is that I heard that sound she muttered all day, and felt more guilty about it each time I heard it.
By the end of the day, I prayed to be able to let it go, and to work harder on choosing better words. I also prayed for the stranger, who I knew nothing about. Maybe she was also having a bad day. Maybe she couldn't have kids of her own and was angry at the way I spoke to my little blessing. I couldn't tell you. Regardless, I prayed for her. I didn't want to judge her the way she had judged me. I know for sure that I never want to be that person. I never want to make another mom feel the way I felt that day. So I also prayed I never would. You never know what another mom is going through, or any other human being for that matter. No matter how big or small. So the next time you're tempted to pass judgment on someone, take a moment and say a little prayer instead!
Note: The "We Can't Be Friends" post was recently followed up with "Clarifying We Can't Be Friends". While I hate the fact that she had to answer to the naysayers, and clarify her original post, I love the fact that she did it. Follow the links to read for yourself!!
